nico1908: (Jackass!)

fail owned pwned pictures
see more pwn and owned pictures

And there is so much more! Go check it out:

For those among us who are of the female persuasion and who love men snarking about/at men, try WWHM ( or PLFM ( Unbelievable stuff!


Mar. 12th, 2009 10:37 pm
nico1908: (Default)
"At Obama’s request, House leaders removed a $335 million Medicaid provision funding contraception programs for low-income people." (Source here)

Because those people need to have more children.

Great job, Mr. President.
nico1908: (Default)
... names their children Adolf Hitler Campbell, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell? And then goes ahead and wants a swastika put on the birthday cake for lil Adolf??? (Source here)

I think this qualifies as child abuse!

ETA: "Three New Jersey siblings whose names have Nazi connotations have been placed in the custody of the state, police said Wednesday." - Can't say I blame the state for intervening! Complete story here.

nico1908: (Jackass!)

I just came across the following statement in an article titled "
Banks now have cash - but few clients" on MSN:

"Since the mortgage meltdown, fears that borrowers won't repay loans have forced banks to tighten lending standards."

Uhm, who in their right mind would EVER loan somebody money who very likely can't pay it back? 

It's really not hard to figure out. No advanced mathematics are required: Get proof of a person's income after taxes, then deduct major living expenses (mortgage/rent, utilities, transportation, average weekly cost of groceries) and pre-existing loans/credit/store cards according to the person's credit repor. If he/she has just enough money left over to make payments on your loan, you tell them to go home, work diligently, and SAVE UP until they can buy what they want.

nico1908: (Jackass!)

12:47 p.m.

My husband just called me to ask where he needs to go to vote.

I cannot believe the man has lived in this area for the most part of his life and doesn't know where his polling place is. Or the Supervisor of Elections' office. That's just sad!

ETA: And then he came home and announced that he "just voted for two black guys" (the other one is running for public defender - he voted for him because his mother told him to [no comment]).

nico1908: (Default)

case of the little girl Nixzmary Brown who died as a result of neglect and abuse is certainly tragic and appalling. However, I find it just as appalling that her grandmother is now suing the city of New York.  

Apparently the woman never checked on her daughter and her six children, otherwise she would have noticed that something was wrong with the little girl and could have intervened. 

And if she did check on them but did not realize that her granddaughter was mistreated, how the hell should child welfare workers (who were alerted twice but said they "found no conclusive evidence of abuse") notice it?

I just don't get it.
nico1908: (Jackass!)
Received via e-mail (quoted verbatim): “Where would I information on the Wolfe funeral Home ghost Martha Beck?”

Caller: “Do you happen to have the phone number for the building Dr. Timms used to be in?”

E-mail: “I am trying to locate the person in charge of records for Strickland Cemetary 1963 time frame. Would you know where I might find someone who can help me?”

And off topic: I love sharks. They are such
cool creatures! I find it cute that they have "litters" and their young are called "pups", though. :-)
nico1908: (Default)

Note to self: the next time this old married guy - one of our Chamber members who's in his 70s and insists on hugging and kissing you at every opportunity - compliments you on your dress and tells you that more than the dress he likes the body inside the dress, you tell him that you find such remarks inappropriate.

You do NOT declare that that body is slowly falling apart!

* smacks self *

Cross-posted to [ profile] admin_hell 
nico1908: (Default)
"“Commodities have been a hot market for a while, and electronic trading has been taking over on the institutional investing side because it’s much more efficient,” says Jay Gaines of Jay Gaines & Company, an executive search firm specializing in financial services in New York." (Source here)

Right! That's just what we need: a bunch of Wallstreet hotshots let loose on the oil, grain, and other raw products markets. - That's our world's food supply you're speculating with, you heartless greedy corporate asshat bastards!

nico1908: (Jackass!)

It's not even 8 o'clock and I already have to Jackies to award: One goes to the woman who just called and asked if I knew the number to "that building Dr. Timms used to be in" the other to the man who wanted the number for "Ecambia there".

Lady, I don't know what gives you the idea that anybody would know who inhabited what building in this county over the past X years.

Dude, I have no idea what you are talking about. I'm assuming by "Ecambia" you mean "Escambia", which is one of our neigboring counties, but don't you know that counties don't have central telephone numbers? Are you looking for the county commissioners' office? The health department? What??? Oh, the "Ecambia fish commission". Well, unfortunately that doesn't exist either and I'm in no mood to try and penetrate your dulled mind by asking any further questions - but of course I'm not going to be so unprofessional as to tell you this; I'll just refer you to the Escambia Chamber. Have a good day!

nico1908: (Jackass!)
... the person who just called and asked, "What is the tax in Florida?"

Lady, if I as a non-native person can rattle off half a dozen different taxes, how come you are unable to specify which tax you are inquiring about? - Not to mention that you should know that there is such a thing as a County Tax Collector who can probably answer questions relating to taxes much better than a Chamber of Commerce, but that just as an aside...

Every time I have people like that on the phone my hope that Obama will be elected president dies a little more. There are just too many ignorant people in this country.

nico1908: (Default)

... when the moderator of your local Freecycle group has to post the following request:

"When you have offered an item and have scheduled a pickup time with a member, please be fully clothed when they show up! This is just common decency.

As volunteer Moderators we have allot to do, but having to tell to you to get dressed goes above and beyond the call of duty as far as I'm concerned! You are all adults here. Please act as such.

Thank you so much to those that follow the Rules and Etiquette of this site, we do so appreciate you."

nico1908: (Jackass!)


We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a “large” enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute and remembered that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, “Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.” I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, “NO, it's not. Four is larger than two.”


We haven't used Sears repair since.




My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.


She said, “you gave me too much money.” I said, “Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.” She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said “We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.” The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.


Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.




I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: “Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”


From Kingman , KS




My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for “minimal lettuce”. He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.

From Kansas City




I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?” To which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?” He smiled knowingly and nodded, “That's why we ask.”


Happened in Birmingham , AL




The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?!”


She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS





At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to “downsizing”. Our manager commented cheerfully, “This is fun. We should do this more often.”


This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.




When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. “Hey,” I announced to the technician, “it’s open!” His reply, “I know. I already got that side.”


This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

nico1908: (Default)
I finally remembered that I'd forgotten to mention the major aaawwww! moment I had when Harry got a magic razor for his birthday. Our ickle Harrykins... old enough to shave... *sniffs*

Then I re-read
this extremely interesting piece in Red Hen's "About the Potterverse" series about what might occur in the last book and was blown away by how spot-on many of the conclusions were.

And now I'm going to bed in order to be ready for answering questions such as, "What do I need to do to sell water from my well?" tomorrow.

nico1908: (Jackass!)

... goes to the lady who just called and asked me without preliminaries, "We're buying a home down there. Can you tell me what the taxes are?"

Lady, first of all, what do you mean by "down there"? My Little Town? Some town in this county? The bigger town in the county next to ours? The state of Florida? Where?!

Secondly, what taxes are you referring to? Sales tax? Gas tax? Income tax? Property tax? Which?!

Thirdly, if you are in the process of buying a house in the little town next to My Little Town and want to know how much your property taxes are going to be, why do you call the Chamber of Commerce? Doesn't it occur to you that this falls under the expertise of the local property appraiser and the local tax collector?

And last but not least: Has nobody ever told you that you should introduce yourself when you call a business or organization? Where are your manners?

nico1908: (Jackass!)
This woman claims that being overweight is - of course - all in your mind. You're not fat because you eat too much. No! You're fat because you think "fat thoughts". The miracle "cure" - of course - is to buy her book, which tells you to "order" your perfect body from the "universe's catalogue" and trust that the universe will deliver - provided that you feel good, because if you feel bad about your body, you will stay fat, no matter what you do. And when you lose weight, it has - of course - nothing to do with the following advice:

nico1908: (Default)

For example, this article on MSN, which states: "According to a recent survey by recruitment firm Manpower Inc. (...) 41 percent of U.S. employers are struggling to find qualified job candidates because of a lack of available talent" and, "what can individuals do to position themselves for careers amidst the talent crunch? People need to recognize his or her current skill set may not be sufficient enough to carry them through the working world, Holmes says. Once individuals are aware of that, they need to be proactive in adapting to the changes."

In other words, as someone who has to carry her (wo)manpower to market in order to obtain the necessities of daily life, it is my responsibility to anticipate the needs of potential employers. Am I the only one who thinks that is unrealistic? I daresay there is no lack of talent out there. There is, however, quite often the inability and unwillingness of companies to train their employees. If employers stopped focussing on finding the perfect employee but started hiring people who may not meet all skills requirements but have values that match the company's and the willingness to learn and train them, they wouldn't have problems finding people.

nico1908: (Jackass!)
Last night around 2:30 a.m. my husband's phone rings and he spends several minutes talking to some woman about what must have been a work-related matter because I drift back off hearing the words "truck" and "vault setter" and "call so-and-so, he's our contact in the area". 

So I ask him this morning who called and he tells me it was the police. Someone had stolen one of their work trucks (with the vault setter hooked up to it) last night and gone on their merry way down the highway, scattering parts and stuff all over the place. 

Of course I wonder how that could have happened, because all equipment is supposed to be locked up at night. Dear hubby tells me that somebody left the truck outside the fence - with the key in the ignition! 

"What kind of idiot does something like that?" I demand to know. 

"Hey, hey, easy now," he says, "how was I supposed to know some crazy drunk lady would want to take my truck for a joyride?"

nico1908: (Jackass!)
As ya'll might remember, I work for a local Chamber of Commerce and get asked strange questions at times. 

nico1908: (Jackass!)
... goes to the lady who called me this morning and barked at me: "Can you tell me what day Fat Tuesday is?"


nico1908: (Default)

January 2013



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