A Case for Professor Grzimek

[nico1908]

Title: A Case for Professor Grzimek
Rating: G
Pairing: Harry, Draco, and Marian
Warning: No smut. Silliness.

"What in Merlin's name is that, Potter?"

"Erm, it's an animal?"

"I can see that myself, thank you very much. What I want to know is what kind of animal it is, you twit."

"I haven't the foggiest. Why don't you look it up in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them?"

"I'm not looking up anything until you tell me what this- this vermin is doing in my livingroom!"

"It's not vermin, it's a pet."

"Don't touch it! What if it has fleas? Or diseases?!"

"Good lord, Draco!"

"What are you doing? Don't take it out of the cage! It could bite!"

"Don't be absurd, Draco. – There, there, sweetie, don't let the big bad uncle scare you. – See? It's really friendly."

"What if it bites Marian?"

"Oh, go get her!

"You're not going to expose my daughter to that- creature."

"Maybe she knows what it is."

"Are you insane? Can't you see the claws?"

"Stop being such a drama queen! It's not a hippogriff, for heaven's sake!"

"Yeah, well, it's not a kneazle either. Or a crup."

"Dad? Papa?"

"Hello, sweetheart. You're a smart girl. Do you know what kind of animal this is?"

"Oooohhh, it's so cute! Can I pet it?"

"Don't touch it!" – "Not yet, sweetheart. Let it get used to us first."

"Where did it come from, dad?"

"Yes, where did it come from, Potter?"

"That's confidential. But somebody has to take care of it until the investigation is over."

"Let me guess… You volunteered."

"Actually…"

"Is it a sloth, dad?"

"I don't think so. Sloths have a round head with a short snout. And they are bigger and have shaggy fur."

"Colour me surprised! I didn't know you were a zoologist, Draco."

"Not a zoologist, just good at potions."

"I don't think I want to know more."

"Look, papa, it has a striped tail! – Maybe it's a raccoon, dad."

"I don't know what Sl- the place where we found it would do with a racc- Whoa!"

"Ooooohhh, it likes me!"

"Get it away from her this instant, Potter!"

"It's purring, papa! – Dad, can we keep it, please?"

"Yes, but only for a few days."

"Potter!"

"Why don't you go and look it up in the book aunt Star gave you for Christmas, sweetheart? The one by that professor Jimmek or whatever his name is. – There's a good girl. Don't forget its cage. It has food and an old coat in there."

"POTTER!"

"Thank you, dad! – Thank you, papa!"

"I want you in the kitchen, Potter. Now!"

"Good night, sweetheart." – "Good night, darling."

"Good night, dad. Good night, papa. – Come here, my little cutie."

Cross-posted here and here.