Wondering about something

[nico1908]

On my way home for lunch the question popped into my head why so many adults (myself included) were/are so enchanted by Harry Potter.

I don't know why you care about Harry, but to me, he speaks to the child in me that in fifth grade, when I was eleven, just like Harry at the beginning of the series, looked at her mother and her brother one day and concluded that she must have been adopted because she couldn't understand how the people she called family could make her feel so insignificant and unwanted. To me, Harry represents the idea of rescue, the hope that our real family is somewhere out there. And he reminds me that the family doesn't necessarily choose the child. At some point the child also needs to choose the family.

Comments

[huinare.livejournal.com]

I often hear of these sorts of expectations being placed on the eldest child, which I find rather unreasonable since kids need time and space to be kids.

Is your brother maybe referring to emotional neglect? I'm not sure "neglect" would be quite the proper word, but as someone whose parents were worrying/discussing me a lot I thought there was a kind of emotional dysfunction...I felt treated like a toy or specimen a lot. Of course I might be way off base here. In any case, I can see where that was/probably still is a frustrating situation.

[nico1908.livejournal.com]

Well, we both grew up with a lot of expectations but without much communication. My mom was barely 20 when I was born, my dad was 28 and, according to my mom, didn't want children while she always wanted a big family. They were very focused on each other and I often wonder if we kids would have turned out less insecure and a bit happier in life if they had shown us a little of the affection they clearly had for each other.

I'm not sure what my brother is referring to, but I told him last year that I remember how our parents and grandparents were always worried about him and he was completely astonished and didn't believe me.

[huinare.livejournal.com]

Expectations + lack of communication is definitely a good recipe for stress. Could be they never communicated to your brother that they were worried, and you had to bear the brunt of it? (Sorry if I'm presuming or prying, I tend to get a bit too analytical at times.) But yeah, to see them be affectionate with each other but not receive much of it must have been somewhat alienating/confusing.