Something funny...

[nico1908]

...somebody e-mailed me the other day.

"A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water ?" - Answers called out ranged from 8oz. to 20oz.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work/life down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy!"

And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

1. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

2. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

3. Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it

4. Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

5. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

6. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

7. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8. Never buy a car you can't push.

9. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

10. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

11. Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12. The second mouse gets the cheese. ("And the third one gets the droppings!" knows Nico.)

13. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

14. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

15. You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

16. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.  ("Forget it! I'm not getting married again!" says Nico.)

17. We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp,some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird namesand all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

18. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour."

 
My favorites are 1, 7, 11, 13, 15, and 17!

 

Comments

[lackofmendacity.livejournal.com]

Awwww... what an uplifting list, thank you for sharing that. :D *hugs you*

(3 and 6 amuses me; 15 and 17 are both very sweet. ^_^)

[nico1908.livejournal.com]

I had a #6 experience once. It cost me a couple hundred D-Marks at the time, but I have to admit that I was secretly glad to be rid of the person!

However, it hurts me when my husband, who goes out of his way to help other people, takes pity on a homeless person and pays him $50 to do the yard and the guy never shows up. (Me, I would never pay anybody in advance, especially not a stranger, but that's because, according to my husband, I'm a negative person.)

[lackofmendacity.livejournal.com]

Mmm, that sounds like quite a lot to get rid of someone. Still, as long as you think it was worth it, I guess... *g*

But yes, I don't agree paying people in advance is wise. There's no benefit you could possibly gain from it (that I can see), and too much risk.

[aldebaran1977.livejournal.com]

Great list! It put a smile upon my face. But if I`d adhere to number 3, I would never be allowed to read slash again - and we couldn`t have that! ;-)

[nico1908.livejournal.com]

You know, I looked at the row of inconspicuous ringbinders in my closet this morning and wondered how people would react if they knew about their content (slash, of course). If I died today and my - very homophobic - husband had to go through my things, what would he think? Which reminds me of the tons and tons of fic I have saved on my harddrive... LOL

[aldebaran1977.livejournal.com]

Your husband would probably think that he`s never known you at all. Which might be true in a way, if he doesn`t know about your passion for slash fanfiction and gay romance! I`m only sad to hear that you are married to a homophobe, so you have to hide that aspect of yours from him.

[nico1908.livejournal.com]

What can I say? I agree! LOL

[fourth_rose]

I was going to point out how #3 takes all the fun out of reading, but I got beaten to it ;)

I love #12, though!

[nico1908.livejournal.com]

I know what I'm talking about... I'm my husband's third wife. :(

[drgaellon]

nico1908 said:

16. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. ("Forget it! I'm not getting married again!" says Nico.)

And my brain sings, "It's not so hard to be married / It's much the simplest of crimes / It's not so hard to be married / I've done it three or four times." :D

[nico1908.livejournal.com]

You have??? I had no idea! ;D